I can't breathe out the right side of my face
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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