I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
