You made me cry and you don't even care
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
