Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
