I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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