And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Randomize
