like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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