The best revenge is premature balding
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Randomize
