What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
