are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
