last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Randomize
