I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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