But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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