Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
