Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
