Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
