i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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