I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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