Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Randomize
