You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
