it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I think I won the penis lottery.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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