the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
