I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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