Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
