i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
