ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
