Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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