So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This is the high leading the old right now
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
