Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
well you can't waste a boner
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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