Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
