Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
that may or may not have been my penis.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
