I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
