turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
