Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
