got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Randomize
