Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
