but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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