ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
