THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
