? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Randomize
