please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
