I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
