I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
But I just had this pork p�t�. It was dick grabbing.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
