her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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