After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
