I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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