:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
