I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
