can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
The dick lei will go down in squad history
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
