man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize
