If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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