margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
