shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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